I watched the struggle.
I stayed with you all night.
laid down next to you.
Let you know there was nothing to fear.
we shared the bed. lived amongst ourselves.
everything seemed fine underneath it all.
caring too much was my downfall.
I picked up a little slack where the father lacked.
You left me. in the same house.
broken displaced.
you kept the bed, I got the floor.
to speak of love. then to just rip out hearts.
for your own satisfaction.
I guess things like this doesnt deserve any reaction.
so here I am waking up on the floor
staring at the ceiling knowing your sleeping comfortably in my old bed.
you bring much dread. no escape from your poisonous words.
I no longer exist, yet we are in the same room.
stuck feeling like I am a ghost.
love once was in the picture.
now all thats left is long nights and displaced emotions.
complications. I gave up everything for some sense of security.
now I wander in my head. wondering why I was put in this position.
my heart only mattered when you got what you wanted in bed.
with that being said. there is a sensation of entrapment.
I guess their is a beauty in drowining in confusion.
i did the best I could. my heart works a lot less.
my emotions are dried up.
i just breathe in hopes I can escape from here.
from this floor and everything in the walls that remind me
of a false love. looking at the aftermath everyday
leaves me to believe you could careless
how much pain you cause.
the onlything you take into consideration is your own hurtful decisions.
the world suffers in your attempt to find happiness.
much has been written on the walls.
it all should of been avoided.
now I feel transparent.
see through. not understanding the meaning of this.
constant knots and suffering.
women can be the death of your soul.
mine has been ripped out.
The fear is gone.
so so long.
I am never looking back.
Emotionally Raw
and honest - a portrait external and internal - intersting to read and see - Just bein' Stella.
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