Cold and lonely spirit dwelling
Make me shiver... Shake with fear
Don't engulf me with you're blackness
as the daylight disappears
I beg you now to hold no grudges
Stop my eyes from growing dim
Keep my heart from beating faster
Pray to God I have no sin
Shadows fade in the dark... Run away try to hide... Cast you're spells in the dark... send them to the other side.
Not bad!
theres a lack of flow in the meaning a linkin word perhaps missing in here:
"Don't engulf me with you're blackness
Make the daylight disappear"
these two lines contradict each other "dont make me sit in the dark" one line and "go on make it dark" in the next line or do you mean perhaps:
"Don't engulf me with your blackness 'as you'
Make the daylight disappear"
just an observation :) some great lines in here! Good work :) Cheers SS
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."
Thank you
This a very old poem of mine and in all these years I have never noticed that contrast... Thank you for pointing it out to me... You are absolutly right... Perhaps if I changed the word " make " to " as "... What do you think
yes! i think that would
Work very well :) cheers ss
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."