#understanding the darkness

melencolia

The Master ullisionist, my depression

 

it is thick & inky, surrounding & permeating everything i am

i see nothing but imprenatable blackness

i hear only the constant ringing in my ears

my thoughts are sluggish & pitch

     they were not spared from the darkness

my intentions, once gay, now loom overwhelming

my voice, my words, are absorbed into the void

    this is the most damning aspect of it all

condeming me to isolation

so it ends as it began, an illusion

its little comfort, perception is reality

Author's Notes/Comments: 

first denying, then fearing, now getting inside of and familiarizing myself with my own darkness.   dark thoughts, dark psyche, dark future.   throwing red flags to anyone who can help, on a journey to understand, and heal myself.   hoping my words can help others feel solidarity, and realize the importance of healing yourself first.