The Biggest Mistake I ever made...
Speaking, opening up... asking for help. Looking for guidance seemed to be the worst thing I ever done. Not knowing what kind of people were in this world & not realizing everyone does not have the same outlook on life.
I found out there were 3 type of people in the world. Prey, Predators & the Great ones. When surrounded by predators they keep you weakened & blind. They Prey live safe lives & keep everyone away from them to be safe from the predators. Its hard to find the help you need from the Great ones when you are only learning from the predators disguised as a part of them while being their prey. They feed of me.
To reach up & reach out to the great they bit your arms off and your legs too. Now you just look like a problem no one wants to deal with. " Drama" They say " Drama Queen" is what you become so buried in hate looking for love. They warn everyone who comes close. While your heart is Bleeding through every limb.
They laugh and judge your pain & mistakes as if that what defines you. Tell you you cant be trusted & tell you not to trust anyone but at the same time entertain all the hate that entertaining and agreeable to there ears.
What do you do?
God, The Most High has been your only friend & shelter although you still have to endure this cruel world & reality. Wanting Change to come.
Who do you call?
No one because the Great are the top they know what down here, and my arms and legs are to short. Inspirational words do not work anymore.
You get to a point When you know who you are and all you need is good results & solutions. ( which are my favorite words)
You take a step and you roll backwards 3 times. Your weak but determined.
Most of what has made your shame so shameful are the mistakes other made before you. You cry, You are here, You are you.
Where do you go?
To the Top, where you can see everything clearly & far beyond what is in front of you. A different point of view.
Its hard starting not from the bottom, but in the negative. its take a few more levels to get to the bottom first. You have lost everything before you began.
You grab onto all that can hold your weight. While trying to focus it seems so bizarre & surreal.
Looking in the mirror hurts when you think of the Journey before you. You stare at the finish line using tunnel vision. It's seems so far away.
Stay in prayer, ask for guidance & Strength.
Its needed.
There is no venting, crying, & looking for to much support when everyone see you for what you were born into or how life turned out at the present moment. There is no blaming or complaining (out loud) you will seem bitter or jealous.
Either I make the difference mine.... Or
I will be my biggest mistake ever made.
Pressure. To be worth it.
