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Art Of Tearing Myself Apart, From The Past

Mom I can't take this life, this life, like it's not right, like it's not mine.

Dad I can have anything I want, why is my life hanging by a thread, why do I feel like there's a gun pointed at the back of my head?

Mom it's the pressure, dad I feel like there's something I missed.

Mom I've got so many questions like, is this what's they call bliss? I've taken center stage and I can't find my way out of this.

Mom it's the new truck, it's the new house. it's the dream I pulled from the clouds to the ground.

Dad tell me it's gonna heal, that everything I sacrificed wasn't real? I can have almost anything others want but I can't have the things that they feel.

I'm so tired of keep up this worth. I just need to watch it burn. Mama tell me, how bad is this gonna to hurt?

Dad let me know, is there something worth holding onto in this whole world? How long is it gonna take, before everyone of my scars and mistakes fade with the wars in my head, waiting for me in my bed, like my regret is the gun pointed to my head.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Hope you enjoy

The Path



when in Spring when couples proclaim a reason for being

in grand gardens of cashmere quality


there is a path we so often will tread

loving thoughts inside my head


with music in my bed

Satin sheets with an aroma of Lavender mist


a hero I will kiss getting caught up in the mix

like a soldier off to war you simplify from  your neighborhood whore


turning heads making beds

the path we are to take is clear


their is no need to fear their

for I will wallow in the faint tapestry


shelter lies dormant onto its beckoning plow

even the stranger it will welcome


turning an angry sinner to a saint

we shall feed upon the cosmic tapestry


alone in my thoughts from a temples desire

carry me below before its too late


p.s i love you

It's been two short years,

But somehow they feel forever.

Without you here by me,

Holding my hand.

We use to hit the road no plan in mind,

Just you and I,

Your tunes cranked so loud they raddled my heart.

They called us two young rebels,

Crazy, insane best friends.

We took the world on together.

We were partners in crime.

Now your gone though,

My life a dull abyss. 

I remember your eyes, your laugh,your hugs,

But all those memories are slow fading,

Now I have to look at pictures, 

Just to remember how short you were,

What color your hair was, 

My memories of your image might fade through time...

But I will never forget how you made my heart race,

My soul feel warm with each embrase.

I know your partying big with God.

Im jelouse,

Jelouse that he took my best friend.

That each day heaven gets to touch you 

And I?

I dont. 

I'm glad your pain is over...

But I still wish everyday for one more,

One more embrase, one last day...

To say Goodbye;

If I ever did.

I'd beg you not to leave, 

Tell you how important you are, 

How much it would hurt for you to leave,

Oh, and yeah I'd also say...


I love you...

Mind Control

Mind Control

you will do what you are told until the very rights to you are sold
Satan has a grip hold on your thoughts
yet we have come to far not to turn back now
why look behind when your hand's on the plow
the system is rigged and your in on it
some times I feel like I'm a piece of shit
you were born in the gutter & your mother was a whore
we need to put God's armor on that will settle the situation
instead we like to vegetate on a long awaited vacation
Big Brother maybe watching but I'm still not buying
got food to eat like fish for frying
why should I dismiss this earthly bliss
with a time well spent in thought
once this life is over your soul can't ever be bought
have you forgot homeboy does thin a lot
many win the Academy Award but they don't deserve it
the lover in life is not the sinner the less that you give your a taker
there's a dozen of pots in my sink give me time to think
time to soar to reach heaven's door
soar to parts unknown or else you will be stuck at home all alone
many are addicted to vice in pornography but that never stopped me
for pursuing excellence with all of my might so out of sight
got people out in the street with viscous fangs that bite dripping blood off side
they always try to run away & hide from inside
there's the voices inside my head a face filled with lead
the angelic conclaves of blood soaked creatures with hideous features
take a good look inside we have nothing to hide
stand your ground from Satan's call the know it all
someday you will find his people in a ditch with feverish pitch
darkened eyes with tombstones in their brains
zombie creatures from Hell below with tempers of fire
blown in its fullest desire you evoke fear as your leader
we need to start to take are thoughts captive & dismiss what is evil
some are being caught in the middle like a basketbal dribble
no this is real life son many moments may not turn out to be fun
still you play the one last string that you have been dealt
put that other book on high right back on the shelf
he comes to kill, steal & destroy what's my one last chief aim & ploy
keep your head in the sky and never fall prey to ever believe the lie

My Dog and Me

Every Christmas we'd wait inside, 

with cookies and milk, 

together we'd hide.

By the tree, or on the stairs. 

Wishing Santa would answer our prayers.


We waited all night for Santa to appear

Just like in the books and the stories we'd hear.

Everytime we heard a clank or a clink

Together we thought is it ol' Saint Nick?


The years went by and he never came

But I always thought just the same

That one day Ol' Saint Nick would appear

and bring me back some holiday cheer


Now my big dog and me still wait by the tree

In hopes that Saint Nick didn't forget me.

Because I believe that one day I'll see

Santa Claus putting gifts under my Christmas tree.