#dad #father #childhood #memories #love #truelove

Here's to You, Dad

Just a memory.....
 
when I was small
there was a checklist
for chores and things
hanging in our kitchen
 
Once
 
my father watched as I filled in the boxes
he noted
fascinated
how I drew my checkmarks
(from the long end
to the short)
that was unusual he told me
most people
they start at the stubby end
and end at the long
 
this memory
of all the memories
stuck with me
 
for many years
I was unable to admit
to myself
or to others
that actually
I am just like all the rest
I draw my checkmarks from short to long
and
well
that day in the kitchen
had been nothing more
than a fluke
 
and yet I cannot count the times
I forced my hand
to start at the long end
and end at the stubby
of course you understand
I wished to be special in my father's eyes
and still
I fight the habit
 
it took some additional years to realize
that there would never
as long as I lived
be another breathing creature
who gave even a fraction
of a single
flying
fuck
how I draw my checkmarks 
and yet
had my father been a man to journal
I would not be the least bit surprised
to learn he had deemed the nuance
worthy of documentation
 
 
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