PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

For the last 10 yrs I been in love with one woman being with her only about a year ending in mutual supposed understanding. In between these 10 yrs.. I had a rebound relationship lasting 3 yrs ending on the note..she could never be "her"... I have gotten married about to touch 2 yrs with my bride being with her 7.
For the last 10 yrs this " woman" has been in and out of my life. I have attempted to *just* be her friend. Unfortunatly it takes a lot out of me, and its conflicting. The bias feelings I have tear me apart. For the last week I have been talking to her babydaddy. Might I say WHAT A MESS. She tells him...she never loved me...she tells him I'm obsessed ..she tells him we had nothing serious.... she let's him conferm those words by me. Did I lie, yes I did. Not once but twice. If you ask me why...simply because if she wanted to be with me..she would of been... I hold on after yrs of seperation hoping and dreaming of her...though reality is...I'm married..and she is involved..and the truth is..she has secretly seeing me and I have secretly seen her... she has told me she loved me ..and she always will.. she has told me I hold a special place in her heart..she has told me..I am the only Woman for her...and yet .... she tells him..she isn't bi.. she isn't attracted to women. And tells him all I was, was a friend..an ear...and that I wasn't her woman..for almost a yr...so what was I?.. I was played. And yet..I can't let go...I write this with tears in my eyes.. I write this...while my wife questions me why... I write this in secret..hoping that "she" will read it...
In hopes for her to know I am willing to endure...everything and anything to see her happy...even if that is..braking my own heart and lying....about us never being true.