The Robots

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kiokun's picture
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Joined: 2011/05/11

Part 1

Chapter 1

This is just the begining, I'm gonna finish it. But hey, it's a big story of 2 parts. so at least it will take like 1 year or more. Then wait up.

Ben is a well-known business man, the owner and president of the B.R.C corp. – The biggest companies of making and developing home-maid robots in England, 2615. In this wet night, when the thick lines are joining the glossy ground with the cloudy sky east; he decided to reduce the pressure of working all the time. So, the dusky stout gentleman in his fancy and formal suit, wended out of his brilliantly built mansion of reflecting glass. He walked along a wide paved path with floor tiles, across a well-taken care of grass. And then he reached a fence was opened at the end of the path, where a sort of a car was awaiting and its back door was opened by a well-built robot. Ben got into, after he had pressed on his screen watch, so as to switch off the energy shield which is preventing him from the rain.
This sort of flying cars which has that black reverser structure, and fancy saloon looking car with those dim windows, was floating off the ground with the function of its anti gravity generators at the bottom; leaving the well-built robot standing in front of the fence, the one that is called the Lemo-Fregit departed of this noiseless place in an increased speed, thereupon.
A while later, the Lemo-Fregit pulled over in an uninhabited area nearly by the docks. An entrance was yawned up at the exact spot that the floating car was buoying on, therefore, the Lemo-Fregit went vertically through; the entrance was closed up once again, so to keep the dry of inside from the heavily scattered raindrops, thereafter.
Underground, beneath the moon lit uninhabited setting, where the rotten is taking corners; the flying car stopped and Ben got out after the door was opened automatically. Then, he headed toward the biggest of those numbered gates along a hallway in left, which was being kept by two guardians of steel – Two colossal robots were randomly created of scrap, standing in a quite calm. When he reached them his identity was checked, after they had scanned him with their clarifying red eyes, then he was allowed to enter. At those moments, another action was being occurred, when the Lemo-Fregit activated itself and wended to a divided portal was at the opposite of the biggest one, which was unlocked, thereon.
The floating vehicle deactivated itself and laid with slacken on the ground, besides a slit nude wall. This width packing lot was stuffed with many organized cars in lines, and brightly-lit by beam of line rays out of fixed box, and gathered in a shape of a cylinder linked with others along the four sides of the oozed ceiling.
After Ben walked in, he went in the direction of a vacant seat which is beside others already full; constructing a half circle around a ring at the middle of this vast place. Ben sat and kept gazing straight forward at one of the two contenders that were sitting on oxidized little chairs in opposite corners of the ring. At that moment, when a bold, well-dressed man with a white beard in flank of him, glanced him, he budged his lips by saying while he’s holding a cigar between his teeth, “Hello, old friend“, “Hello, Harold. I haven’t seen you for a long time, have I? ”, he replied while buttoning up his jacket. Then, Harold commented by saying, “You read my mind! “, “Yes, I know. But, I was too busy these last months, in cause to be present at the close meetings I organize with the government. You are in wit of the situation, it is so difficult to direct a worldwide farm, and with its sixty branches all alone “. “Yes, that is correct. However...“, “Furthermore, this is only a show for the pleasure and amusement, except if you shunned the wager of course! “, Ben said, after he had interrupted Harold’s words. And therefore, both of them giggled; and then, Harold added as a last sentence by slightly saying, “Yea, you are thoroughly correct, as you always were “, “Thank you “, Ben grated confidently.

WolfLarsen's picture
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Joined: 2011/02/08
The strength here is that

The strength here is that this writer is a master of detail.

The weakness here is that at times the details are unimportant and make for boring reading.

That doesn't mean that piece is boring. It is not. But parts of it are weakened by over attention to detail.

But at other times the great attention to detail helps the piece to become more interesting.

When the attention to detail helps the writing to become more interesting that's good.

Cheers!

n/a