Where do I go from here?
I'm so lost, so full of fear.
I'm tired of these motels, these hotels, These nightly hells,
I cant stand the back pain from sleeping in the back seat of my car,
Or living for fight to fight, each payment coming with a new scar.
What I've done with this life has taken me so far,
so far in fact that it's gone to far.
I can't help but look back and feel I've been traveling in the wrong direction.
And in what direction was my misdirection?
I'd like to think it was left.
I want to believe I've traveled so far left that there is no more left.
Everything I do from this point on has to be right.
The right direction, the right choices, the right way.
So say what you may,
But in order to understand you have to follow my life back a bit upstream.
At first I was following a dream,
But was it my dream?
It started so long ago
I don't even know.
It's as though my dreams have been stitched together with seams from another mind,
I was so young, so blind.
I followed the dreams they made for me, but left my own behind,
And I find, that lately,
I've started living to forget the memories of yesterday.
I know by tomorrow, I'll be denying today.
There's not much else I can say.
I just want to break down and let the world have it's way.
Yet I fight.
Even though I don't want to, I make myself fight until the world has no fight left in it.
No more left!
I will drain it to its very last bit.
And it's funny how I justify it;
Because when there's no more fight, all that can be left is peace.
And peace is right.
Right?
I mean, Isn't this what's right?
The right direction, the right choice, the right way?
After all, whats the worst that can happen If I follow this path?
What would happen to me if I can't stand this worlds wrath?
I'd die.
But I don't mind,
It doesn't have to end like a fairytale.
Even if I fail, I can finally rest.
Sleep in eternal blackness.
It would be so calm, so simple.
Simplicity at its best.
But I want to succeed,
I want to win this fight,
I want it to be over,
I want to be right.
Choose the right life, the right direction, the right way,
And you may think I'm crazy,
But I think I'm right.
I think This is the right direction, the right choice, the right way.
All these words, the right words to say.
This is how it shall be.
This is what will amend me.
This is right,
You'll will see.
- The Lazarus
