Good Old Dog

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yoursirname's picture
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Joined: 2012/12/07

Good Old Dog

When he was young
They were younger than him
To him they looked the same
One just had an extra bone,
The other took it away

They realised he was wise,
Someone to idolise
Walking beside the sea
he would rant, randomly
Let's play a game today
just do what i don't say
They took a bite, there came the night
Day went far away

Soon there were more
Brown, pink and red
But to the father, they were dead

They might be family, but who knows
If father's gone
What wisdom is there to be had
When he is not in our midst
Life seems rather sad

It's been so long
War's far from gone
Family has grown apart
he hasn't tried to heal his heart
he just went to bed.

arkdm's picture
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Joined: 2013/02/09
"he just went to bed" - Very

"he just went to bed" - Very strong ending, lots of imagery there while being thrifty with words. Lots of metaphors throughout, I wish it was a little more literal as well, but that's just a personal preference, I know lots of writers who would feel otherwise. Good stuff!

darkpool's picture
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Joined: 2001/04/07
what? you can't make me feel

what? you can't make me feel sorry about your dog with this or any poem. I don't follow this very well ... others may not need clarity, but I need it.

yoursirname's picture
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Joined: 2012/12/07
I never had a dog, and this

I never had a dog, and this poem is not about a dog! It wasn't my goal to make the meaning very clear, I'll just delete the comment about that. Wink

darkpool's picture
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Joined: 2001/04/07
Thanks for your comment on my

Thanks for your comment on my other work. I reread this as you suggested. I am closer to appreciating your meaning, sincerely, but being of a literal nature, I can't follow the allegory as far as others might. I enjoyed the rhyme, and the metaphors.