First fumbling attempt at poetry

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PauliB's picture
Joined: 2013/06/16

Funny that this would be my first poem written out of a desire to do so, and not because an English teacher forced me to. Inspiration comes from everywhere I guess. Please, critisize,  don't go easy on me!


The Mark

The mark of the boy I fucked last night

still lingers on my skin


Memories of warm touches

rough hands

deep thrusts

already fading thin


And yet here he is

in that warmth






The wet cold

that warmth can leave behind


The bruises

where hard bone met soft flesh

bodies faultily aligned

Brother57's picture
Joined: 2013/08/05
I really like the format of

I really like the format of your poem. I know some people think that perverse language is just a shock value thing, but I think using "fucked" in this poem helped me immediately to see the tone of the poem and gave me a brief glance to your feelings for this person. I'm just a hobby writer, I use it to get my problems out of my head and onto paper, and I think you have real potential to make some poetry gold if you stick to writing with your emotions. I hope this is what you were looking for. :D