BURNING

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ubis13's picture
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Joined: 2002/08/27

Burning embers glowing red
watch the smoke rush to my head
as it travels to my mind
through the channels watch it wind

cold wind blowing fast my way
like the night becomes the day
ever present wheel of time
making all of you now mine

sometimes feeling others not
sometimes ice cold others hot
through the channels watch me go
take the high road take the low

won't you please me
make me smile
I'm here watching all this while
through the love game that we play
makes me feel good
feel this way

Kochikkaran's picture
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Joined: 2011/07/30
makes me feel good feel this

makes me feel good
feel this way
=
Good read over all

But the last line kinda lost it because of the word ' feel ' repeating,. don't u think.
Could have used some other word. Maybe we can wait for a third person view.

n/a