Everything to do with you and reasons why I hate it - a collection of poems by CM

Submission

Love
The unraveling line
Again I am a victim
To the delicious desire of you

-

Absolution

One last time
Would you let me kiss you?
Let me pretend just for a little while
That we’re okay
That everything’s as it was several years ago
Love was new & everlasting
One last time
Would you let me hold you?
Before the darkness separates us
Before the cold comes blowing in
Please let me feel the heat radiate of your body
One last time
Would you let me touch you?
Each inch of your silken skin
Etched into my memory
After all these years
Until every freckle is found again
One last time
Would you let me tell you I love you
Through the tears
One last time
Would you tell me that you love me
And that everything will be alright?

-

Beginnings are just as sweet

She reveals to me
Her complications
I revel at her scars
With much speculation
Her voice nary
‘bove a whisper
The way she pouts
I just want to kiss her
She lures me in
With her air of mystery
I never thought she’ld
Take this much of me
“you know no not
What you’re getting into”
She purrs as daylight
Fades into a darker hue
When it’s all over
She rests against my chest
My one tidy bedroom & life
Now a complete & utter mess

-

One the borderline of drunk and sober

The answer to the puzzles realized
The look of hatred in your eyes
I’ve broken the chains of you
It’s hard to explain all I’ve been through
Your mock concern may work on someone else
Try another pretty doll on that shelf
There’s nothing you can say or do
I’ve finally broken the chains of you
I’m free to fall or fly
Fall in love or just cry
I understand your frustrations now
When I wanted to pull away but didn’t know how
You wanted me to go, but stay by your side
I wanted to leave, but slept with you at night
You finally pulled away knowing it was best
I steadily picked up the pieces of this mess
I moved on day by day
Until we no longer have anything to say
Ten months again I was a different girl
When you my love, my life, my entire world
But now I stand before you a woman changed
Not the broken bleeding thing that was pretty deranged
I’ve carried you like a battle scar
And I’m finally letting you know we’re now on par
You weren’t the first and you won’t be the last
But letting go of you was the hardest task

-

Handyman

You turn the screw
How predictable of you
You twist my words
Into things you like to hear
You hammer your opinion
Into my head
And here I thought you
Weren’t a handy man
You’re pretty handy
With your tools
You’re pretty handy
When it comes to you
When everything comes for you
And the world revolves around you
Everything’s so easy when it comes to you
But when you turn the screw..

-

And yet I stay

She’s unforgiving
Even now
Despite her presences
Next to me
She tenses at my touch
I was wrong
I know this now
Too late
To apologize
Too late
To be completely forgiven
She’s as cool as winter morning
The sun no longer shines
In her eyes
Merely tolerating my presence now
In the room
On the couch
Even in her bed

-

Losing myself again

Dragged down
By your lead words
Your daggers laced with poison
Disguised as friendly comments
They cut & cut
Until I bleed
Out the self confidence
I had gain while being away
From you

-

Things we should be saying but don’t

And so
We fight
Because we have nothing else to say
And so
We get angry
Wouldn’t have it any other way
And so
We give the silent treatment
That’s all there’s left to do
And so
We fill the empty space with hateful words
Instead of “I love you’s”

-

Angel in Disguise

I saw you change
Trying to hide those angel wings
Underneath that blue checkered
Button down shirt
Using your halo as a Frisbee
Your harp as a guitar
Your robe as the sheet for our bed
I saw you change
Trying to hide
Your true celestial nature
From me
You never could hide
Too much from me
Don’t hide those angel wings
Wear your halo with pride
Play your golden harp
Like no one’s listening
Except me
Take your robe off our bed
Wear it, I insist
I saw you change
Trying to hide
Your angel nature
Don’t hide it
I’ll love you anyways

-

Still Searching…

You and your infatuations
Always reaching
For the unattainable
Greener pastures
Not worth the effort

-

Nice Try

I’m not
Here to
Stoke
Your ego
I think it’s big
Enough
For the both
Of us

--

Recovery

Your only real concern
Is that
I won’t be
Brought down
By your insults
Anymore

-

Picking up the Pieces

Take your words
Oh, Mistress of Manipulation
And use them
On some unlucky victim
Spinning your web of lies
I have no use for them
Or you
Anymore

-

Boundaries

No more games
This time
You must draw the line
With a permanent market
My chalk ones
Have long since
Faded away

-

Shoo, Fly

Your company
Was more
Of an
Annoyance
Glad
You found
Someone else’s
Head to
Buzz Around

-

A Realization

I wore you
Like new sneakers
Trying to break you in
To fit only me
Now I wear you
Like a scar
A lesson well-learnt
You were never meant
To fit me

-

My Promise to You

I will not
Give you
The satisfaction
Of watching
Me
Crawl

-

A lesson learned

You stand there mocking me
Pretending you’re everything
I ought to be
I am sick of the way you treat me
Giving you every piece of me
And you take all of me
Leaving nothing left of who
I used to be
You are no longer the person
I knew back when
When things were simple
Love was different then
When I agreed to give all I had
Just to be with you
Now I’ll give everything I have
Just to be rid of you
I am sick of the way you treat me
Giving you every piece of me
And you take all of me
Leaving nothing left of
Who I used to be
I’m taking my stand now
Because you’re done
Taking pieces of me

-

Gone

If you’re gone
Please don’t call me
To say everything
That went wrong
If you’re gone
Don’t call to hint
There’s still hope
For us
If you’re gone
Don’t offer
Casual meetings
For coffee
And play
Catch-up
If you’re gone
In the morning
Please stay
That way
Forever

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Being in love is a wonderful thing, but when that love turns sour, it becomes something you want to change and change away from, but sometimes you can't.. sometimes you stay for no other reason than you don't want to be alone. "A Lesson Learned" I wrote after listening to one too many Linkin Park songs and "Gone" was my way of letting go and completely cutting ties, as much as it hurts sometimes it's better that way. Comments welcome.

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