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The Other Woman
I see her face vividly
Her eyes represent everything I wanted to be.
Her face seems perfect through the computer screen and I believe she is better than me.
Maybe the mistakes of my first love will still haunt me 11 months after we've broken up, and although I tell myself every waking moment that I'm moving on,
Moving on is such bull shit!
How could you ever really move on from someone who you would've died for, only hoping he'd have done the same.
Maybe she is more educated than me, more intelligent than I will ever be.
Maybe her body was perfect and you imagined only what mine could be.
I cannot stress the impact this girl has had on my self esteem; she ripped me apart without ever seeing me.
At nights my pillows were soaked with tears, on my knee's praying to God that he'd make you care.
Until all my patience was gone and I lost my mind because I loved you too much to be number two, and that's why I told people you had aids and went unto your myspace deleting your pictures and declaring you were a lying cheating, asshole!
Yes! I did all of that because I loved you, and you played the shit out of me.
You were my best friend and lover and you turned on me, and who could I trust if not you?
Who could I give myself to if not you?
Imagine me going crazy over you, while you were happy with her.
While you were fine with breaking my heart.
While you were fine fucking me and waslking away - knowing we would never be the same.
You knew, I knew, but my lips, and my kiss in the midst of love's lust, was probably too much for you to give up.
It hurt knowing you told her you loved her, because your heart I thought was only for me, and while she returned the words to you, I felt like I belonged in a landfill somewhere rotting away because I gave you all of me and it just wasn't enough...
I feel so damaged and used after 11 months and insignificant compared to this beautiful black girl because you thought I wasn't as pretty, thin, intelligent, or kind as this other woman.
But the truth was she could've never, ever, ever, ever loved you as much as I did, and I wonder was being with her really worth it?
Yes I am still broken down because of the other woman, waiting for time to heal old wounds .
