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Almost 80
She talks about suicide, and drains energy from her children's lives.
She’s exhibited Alzheimer’s symptoms it seems her whole life, and although I fall short of twenty years I’m assuming that she’s been like this forever…
Her nerves are reckless.
Her mind plays games;
We are both libra babies, but we are not the same.
She provides the venom to kill my soul.
She doesn’t care who she hurts;
She can be wicked and cold.
She can be good to you in a corporation kind of way: for self interest.
She’s caused me more pain than pleasure,
She’s passed more judgment on me than anyone I know.
She is misleading because one minute you’re the best of friends, then she curses you and complains. She cannot maintain control.
I watch her lay back in the small twin sized bed reeking of resentment, angry about her mother who’s temperament was cross, and became sick when she was young and died in New York – Disappointed about her father who met trouble in his life and ran off to England and found a new wife.
I know she has guilt about her failed marriage; her wrinkled skin, once smooth & caramel colored and bright has now been defeated by life.
Her knees have given up, but long after she had given up.
He was her everything – my grandfather – I know he was, she doesn’t have to say it.
There’s a gaze that gives it away; that distant gaze which insinuates she’s peering through all the bullshit, and reflecting on her past.
The gaze that suggests maybe what she thought wasn’t good enough, was as good as it would get – that gaze.
She is an example of everything I do not want to be; dependent, angry, bitter, hateful, vulgar, selfish and self-centered.
Even if the world was to end her motto would be: it’s still all about me.
She is the aggressor, but she always demands empathy, an emotion she does not posses for others.
She greatly lacks patience and maybe in that regard we are the same, but there’s a distinct difference between us because for my loved ones I am always willing to change.
Her anger will continue to consume her, and her travel habits will continue to support Air Jamaica.
Yes, we are born under the same sign, but she is one of those strong weak persons, and I’ve always been more of a weak strong one.
Even though her presence’s purpose is to bring an aura of constant negativity, while her spiritual accompaniment is better known as “crosses” – The world cannot spin for her forever, and no matter how much sorrow she emits, the religion she claims to embrace provides some saving grace, at almost 80.
