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Melisa
Little Melisa so precious and pure.
So innocent and niave.
Why did I leave?
I had to go, it was the only way.
I promise you will see one day.
I'm here for you, miles will never keep us apart.
You are my meaning my reason for being.
I lay and cry even though your right here.
For I know I will be gone tomorrow.
I fight with my life to give you in time what's right.
So you don't feel this hurt. So you will have a better way.
When you grow you will know. They can't keep the truth from you.
Till then I try, I cry I eat this pain and feed from it.
This pain is my strength to fight.
You be happy little girl while I fight the world.
While I do the work you become yourself.
Become what you are supposed to be I will handle the misery.
I made this happen it's no lie. So thats why I cry.
I made the choices you see. So I deserve this misery.
These words will never decribe how I feel inside, but hide the lie and tears I cry.
The poem is vague. The reader
The poem is vague. The reader has little idea of what actually happens in the relationship. Although this may be the intention, the emotional mode of the poem needs work. However, it does have some good points. Line 14 is probably the strongest, and the sentiment expressed there has much potential.
Most important elements to revise on include the paradox for the proximity between father and daughter as well as the apparent contradictions in lines 16 and 17 where the father expresses dissatisfaction with his own position which seems to distract somewhat from that of his daughter.