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Damn it, It hurts,

I'm a fucking bitch,

I take everything for granit,

And all I want is more and more.

But everything I want comes with a side order of pain,

Like a jagged edge knife going trough my brain,

The headaches, Constant fights,

I want it to stop!

My fucking fantasies are going to destroy me,

I don't want it to own me,

I don't want it to be a part of my past,

It's not me, It never will be me,

I can't be known for it,

Fighting every urge that comes through my path,

My curiosity will be the end of this.

I know I will feel bad if I go through with it,

I won't feel comfortable if I actually do it,

But I can't help but to wonder,

I just want to see,

No one will understand without placing a judgment on me.

I think it's sick,

But I would do it too,

I am happy with what I have,

Why do I want more,

Why do I think I need more,

Maybe it's passed time I let myself go free.