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nightmares
tossing and turning to unspeakable terrors. no rest no peace. no sheep to count. only a fearful shout. you endure it without choice she kisses you goodnight you try back but you lost your romantic voice. she now looks numb beaten hurt angry. she is just. after sleep you wake to the real nightmare of a life lost the people the monster in you hurt. you tell her it will get better you understand why she can't believe you. or you deny anything is wrong at all as the house of cards has long fallen. your hand lacks the ace of sanity, the king of family, the queen of harmony, your poker face barely fools yourself. can't take the joker out of this deck anymore. the joker of chaos is always in your losing hand. which nightmare is which the bad dreams of traumas past or the reality of tragedies present? when will i stop dreaming and start living?
