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...I dont know what to say...



....I feel numb...



...No feelings what so ever...



...Thinking about what could have been...



...Thinking about what never will be...



....Thinking sad thoughts again...



..Trying to shake them free...



...Trying not to cry...



..Crying only pushes people away...



..Cant afford to push anymore away...



...Knowing Jessica was right...



...I push away and hurt the people who love me the most...



..Dont want to get hurt...



..Dont want to hurt them...



...Dont want to Breathe anymore...



...Just want to lay here lifeless....



....nothing to hurt...



...nothing to feel ...



.....just there....



....Trying to hide my true feelings from my "friends" who say they care...



...trying to believe someone whould actually care about such a bitch as I....



...Trying to act like I am fine...



...Trying to act like life is never better...



..Acting like my life is subpurb and its all mine...



...Wanting someone to care...



..wanting someone to be there..



..someone to hold...



...hold tight....



.....hiding my depression from my friends and family...



...dont want them to worry...



..worry about me...



....why am I like this...



...the answer to this is one I cannot see....