I remember this part of my life
and this is one episode I've got to write
after my dear husband died, a distinguished
man arrived.I met him thru a friend, and his
intentions were honorable and clean.
so after a million years have passed,
I was ready for another date.I am not so
young anymore and this I admit,but for heaven
sakes I felt like I was on my very first date.
we danced and dined at my favorite place, we talked
and laughed at our same jokes,he seemed so nice and
full of life, I must confess I had some fun.Then he
talked of his house beside the lake,it's even complete
with allegators and some snakes.
and suddenly he asked me if I could retire,in their
place so cold and far,his offer was indeed so great
and a lot will jump at it,they call this place were
your dreams can come true,where loneliness are few and
technologies are new.
we bid goodnight and I told him that, I'll need
some time to think it right, wether his offer
I can accept and relocate to a strange,cold place.
And when I lay my head to rest,I realized that I am
happy with myself,as long as I have my friends, my poems
and my cat, I can be alone and I think I'll be all right.
I think when one has been married and it is a love of a lifetime there are points if one's spouse has passed it's understandable to want to be alone. After all you spent many years with one person knowing their routines and differences from your own you accept or make allowances for that, and when someone new comes in the picture though well meaning,they cannot take the place of a love of a life time. I know myself if something were to happen and I lost my John,I would want no other. I would be friendly with many but no one could ever take his place and I too would want to be alone. The other thing too is if you are fortunate to have a love of a life time and anothe were to enter your life though surfacely not said,inwardly there would be comparisons and of course the other person I'm sure would wonder in their own silence will they or do they measure up to that love you had in your life so yeah I understand how you feel..