PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Ive been gone for a while I know this.
Its my life of course I counted the days on my calender
when I was suffering through my personal drifts.
Its been over a year since I looked at you.
that look of "were through" is what sent me over the edge and where I ended up for a year
all because of you. You say sorry. well I say fuck you. No apologies will be enough
for the emotional stress that you put me through.
I cut just to see the blood run down my arms to feel a pain to take away what I was put through.
miles away from home wishing we were together.
as I slept on our hotel room floor. pushing overdose.
as you slept with a man in the bed I paid for for three days.
while I heard your sounds of romance. I was hoping I wouldn't make it through the night on the floor.

Never in my life before then have I believed that death have felt better than what I felt.
The drugs I took to numb the emotion for the aftermath to come didn't settle my broken pride.
and I striven to become a someone with some sort of sentimental value for I was lost.
You stripped me to the bone with no possessions. A psyche ward to call home.
while you were out telling the world I was dead and gone.
I struggled to wake up for the next year and give myself at least one reason not to be.
from loveless to homeless to relocation with a bunch of hidden stress I burdened in a town hidden from the world.
No one out there knew my name or what I went through
I come back and nobody knows the people who didnt know my name that watched me weep for a year to slowly pass over me.

You say sorry I say fuck you for the Vicodin the l.s.d and abrasive personality that you manipulated my good nature with.
I licked my wounds and iced the sores of the problems I slowly overcame for far too long.
once I feel a bit stronger with a sense of stability as I am on my feet.
you contact me and say your sorry for the feelings and the emotions I was trapped in dealing with.
Only if you knew what I dealt with in my hibernation from everything I beloved.
My heart torn out as I lied lifeless on the floor calling your name out in a voicemail you never read.
even to this day I look back if I was still in that position I would still wish to be dead.
heartbreak to an extreme sent me over the edge wishing for places to come to life that only existed in my head.
you brought back ancient emotions of hate and empathy. anguish and dishonesty. Why couldn't you just disappear.
Never to be seen or heard from again it would make my state of mind a little less sensitive to light and open to friendship

You wish for forgiveness as I wish for you to relive my current everyday battles to simply get out of bed with a purpose.
I owned nothing for it was all thrown away the moment i tried taking my own breath away.
no shoes on my feet. lying in a dark room under my parents feet as I waited and wept as I relived the nightmare of your true nature
every night as I called out your name in my sleep. and took too many pills to hopefully never be able to get back on my feet.
Its done its over it was over before it started. It was a drag a horrible hollow drag that I wish I never had the misfortune to go through.
and you asked me today almost and exact year from the day I lost my pride and crossed my heart and hoped to die.
you asked for forgiveness and said you apologize. I say its too late to apologize.
You lost that privilege the day you payed no attention as my heart died.
You could have prevented this. and so of I. I could have prevented this by never laying eyes on you.
I wont ever make the mistake of locking eyes with you as I progressed to feeling your vindictive lush thief lips
as we kissed and made love only when the world wasn't watching.

You were a mistake. A mistake called Sam. I wish for a time machine to go back and make your birth a miscarriage
so I would have a privilege to live in a world where you never existed. That is my way of showing forgiveness.
it will never be a time to apologize I wont forgive you and I will never forget this.
You life sucking succubus demon bitch.