PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I mess up,
I am sloppy.
Out of tempo, Out of tune.
Out of key, Can't write anything worth listening to.
Failure is setting in.
anger depression at my lack of skill.
I am about to give up on this dream.
The only dream I ever had.
I want to destroy everything I have ever tried to write.
erase my name for Its almost embracing.
what good is playing an instrument,
If you can't write anything worth recording.
so I record anyways. to show progress.
I feel as if I am going backwards and I am loosing skill.
anger resides and embarrassing at my ugly creation.
a shitty twangy sound. no point bother posting.
why did I chose this dream again?
why did I put blood sweat and tears into this dead dream again?
why do I still keep pushing through again?
even though each thing I record is worse than before.
and my aggression and depression is higher than before.
a starving artist who lacks the talent.
I wish I could just stop and find a real career.
Its not in me to give up.
but I hate failing and fucking up.
I am sick of playing and embarrassing myself.
I sound like shit and the quality is shit
so I myself is shit just a piece of shit.
my potential and talent wont go no further.
well then its seems as if the reason I breathe wont either.
music kept me alive so many times.
why can't I just give back the beauty music has shown me.
I am wasting my time. fucking wasting my time.
my music sucks. my message sucks. even writing this is a fucking waste of time.
of effort, of potential, of talent, space, breathe tears and blood.
fuck you music, you seduced me and now I cant get enough.
i cannot better myself and I strive for greatness. I am just a dirt bag musician.
not even a muscian. I don't have the brain comapcity to read music.
I am getting tired, so damn tired.
of recording myself sounding like shit.
because it out there for all the world to see,
and believe that I am not afraid to try and go for a dream
that I do not have the potential to achieve
so they point and laugh or I at least do at myself
because I fucking suck at this.
it was a passion.
now its just a dead dream, nothing else.