Author Information
A Letter to a Freind
Folder:
The Influence where do I even begin,
I'll start off with that I feel stuck.
I am not sure where I am going anymore.
everything that i hated I have slowly become.
i have no one to really turn to out here.
all these days of away have really messed with my head.
i feel as if everyone disappears
i turned into a lost cause
i have no way to get back on my feet anymore or so it seems
ive been eating tripple c's almost every other night
i guess it make me forget this bottom that i know i am racing too
i am running out of excuses that i can use to make myself belive i dont have a problem
i pushed everyone away and now i am out of work.
i have no car anymore, no money and i feel like i am up agianst the wall.
i know now i am truely insane and i believed i could do this different
i am going downhill real quick. i am worse off than i ever was.
i am doing drugs i would never touch.
and now i feel all these withdraws, from drugs and people.
i cant make friends out here
i forgot how to socialize even.
and i am truly scared of what is next to come.
because all i know is irrational thinking
all i enjoy are these terribly dangerous drug to help me cope
i dont want you to take me in.
becuase i cant stay on a path. i am all over the place.
its not that i am an emotional mess even.
i just dont know how to listen to anybody or anything.
i am a bad person. i have become violent.
and just filled with anger.
anger is a sub-emotion.
becuase i am content most of the time.
i just cant find what is making me tick.
i cant find the cause to this terrible effect that i ended up becoming
i am sorry for everything you have been reading that i posted.
but i havnt been sober in so long.
and i know its a let down. trust me i hate myself for it.
but i cant change, or i forgot how to.
i am not asking anything of you.
all i know is this is my official cry for help or change and i am not sure where to go from here.
i cant offerd school. i have no car, barly a job and no money.
i am spending weeks alone and its not healthy. i am not sure what is next
but i dont want to do anything stupid.
all my dreams have died i lost faith and i am losing hope.
pressing on day to day is getting more and more draining
and i never wanted to be in this place the first place
i only have one question.
what are my options..?
