Im numb…
I cant feel you, I cant feel me
Of course i can feel the eyes that look at me with such a judgemental stance.
But I can't feel the emotions that used to be so easy express,
So easy to say,
So easy to feel,
I want to feel something even if its pain and only pain,
I want to feel uncomfortable,
I want to feel anxious,
I want to have negative thoughts
Even I could only feel these things I would be satisfied.
This feeling of numbness is exhausting.
Smile they say,
Be happy they say,
Be grateful they say,
Fake it till you make it they say,
Well if you feel dead inside could you be able to smile?
If you feel like nothing matters anymore could you be happy?
If the people around you kept telling you what to do without trying to understand how you feel could you be grateful?
Could you fake a smile, a laugh, a feeling you don't feel for someone else? Maybe, perhaps… but not forever
I feel numb…
I will except this
I will not try and be something im not
I will be empty, a hollow soul
But don't misunderstand,
Do not feel pity for me
Do not feel sorry for me
Do not treat me any different
Do not feel sorrow
For i chose this path and I take I willingly
I feel numb and i'm okay with that .
By: Marisa Chau