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Raped Whore
He used to come into my room.
Whisper my name and slide next to me.
His hands would rub my small tummy.
He would tell me softly to undress.
I would cry while taking off my clothes.
He would say come here Nicole.
I wouldn't move.
He would get mad at me and pull me by the arm.
Force me to lay down in my bed.
He would kiss me hard.
Kiss me softly.
I hated me so much.
I wanted to get out of my skin.
My father put his penis inside me.
I hated it.
I hated the sex.
But I couldn't hate him.
When he made me have sex with him.
I got sick and I felt dirty.
When he put his fingers inside me.
I felt violated and unhappy.
When he mutilated my body..
I felt a sense of happiness.
I could never understand
why my father hated me so much.
When he would whisper my name while
fucking me...I would let the tears fall.
When he touched me I felt not myself.
When he put his tongue inside me.
I felt hate and disappointment.
When he put his penis in my mouth.
I felt I was million miles away.
When I cried, I was fucked backwards.
I couldn't sit for days and hours.
When he made me touch myself.
I felt like his whore.
When he made make sounds while he fucked me.
I screamed inside and wanted to get away.
When he looked me in the eyes.
I would smile to keep from frowning.
When he was done.
I was a raped little whore.
~Kesha~
I just re-read my own poem
I just re-read my own poem after so many years of writing and releasing and trying to understand what was happening to me, I still didnt understand what I was going through. This poem is very raw and hits me hard every time that I read it. I wrote it and I cry for myself everyday. I am sorry if it has triggered anyone. I never thought about triggers since I was so young when I wrote this poem, but trust me I think of them now. After all these years things have improved and therapy has been helping. I thank you for reading. I woud edit the words but I think that it gives impact to the poem to really understand what happened to me and the impact that these experiences have had on me. Thank you for reading. You have no idea how much it means to me. It is greatly appreciated.
Forever & Always
~*~Kesha~*~
wow i feel for you i know how it is i'm sorry, my father never raped me but many others did i know what you mean by you'd leave your body. good poem and if you haven't told yet do so please don't stay it's hard enough living with it after you don't need to keep living it
Thank you.
Thank you.