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Every day, stuck in my private hell,

screaming without a sound.



Wanting to die every day,

still you never knew, never cared.



All the fights in my head,

the yelling and tears.



I never asked for you to be there,

because I knew in my heart,

you never even cared.



So many nights,

locked in my room,

suicide attempts,

in the hell of silence.



Wanting to run away,

knowing you’d never notice.



I tried to hang myself,

and you never knew.



You never wanted me there,

you made that clear.



Every time I tried,

you’d yell at me,

and I’d feel the fool.



I tried to get along,

for my father’s sake,

but you were never satisfied.



May as well be gone,

when you never wanted me here,

unspoken words say so much,

in between the slams of your door.



Dinners spent in silence,

tears fall from dead eyes.



No matter what I say,

everything I do,

it’s never enough,

not to please you.



Secretly hating you in my head,

watching my father play referee,

all because of you.



I hear the yelling,

see your angry tears,

and I wish I was anywhere but here.



Dinners spent alone,

movies I never got to see,

not invited, you never wanted me.



All the tears,

all the cuts,

all my anger is because of you.



Still I remember you,

with bitter hate in my heart,

and softly say ‘welcome home’.