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The words he never got a chance to say
Folder:
Madness
This was right, she told herself,
this is real.
She loves him with all her heart,
a typical teenage romance.
She sees him in the hall,
and he smiles, nothing more.
Her confidence falters,
her smile blanches.
Today, she thought,
I'll tell him today.
She swallows her butterflies,
takes those giant steps toward him.
His friends look at her,
she knows they don't approve.
They look at him, to see what he'll do,
and she realizes why she can't seem to breathe right,
because he's looking at her too.
"I love you", she says,
the words can't come out quick enough.
He seems stunned, and he glances at his friends,
she waits for his reply,
her heart is being held out in her hand.
He laughs and says, "In your dreams",
trying to save face.
She's crushed, but tries to hide it,
she stares at him in shock, blinking back her tears.
His friends laugh, all but one,
she sees sympathy in his eyes.
But it doesn't matter, she thinks,
as she turns away in pain,
he doesn't love her, he doesn't feel the same.
He tries to catch her eye,
while she sits dejectedly at her desk.
She carves words into her skin,
trying to nullify the pain.
That night she does it,
she cuts her wrists, bleeds herself out.
Beside her is a note,
drops of blood mixed with tears.
"I'm sorry I wasn't pretty or good enough,
sorry you don't feel the same.
Did you even care about me,
do you even remember my name?
I hope you're happy, I did this for you,
I hope I'll see you again one day,
and I wish you loved me too."
The next day he heard the news,
he couldn't believe it was true.
That night they found him dead on the floor,
with a gun next to his head.
There was a note next to him,
on it was the words he should have said.
"I'm sorry I couldn't say it,
sorry I was a coward.
I never meant to hurt you,
never meant to make you cry.
I hope you can forgive me,
for doing this to you.
Oh, and by the way,
I love you too."
