PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Authors Note:

I wrote this when I was very young -_- It IS an embarassing piece of shit, so please, when you read it, consider this more of a joke.  Everyone is allowed to be 'goth' on occation, and this was my 15yr old goth moment.









My heart is in terrible pain.

I can't stand it.

While I sit here alone, without anyone to talk to and cry, I can't help but think about how horribly selfish I am.

I cry out of self pity...or so my incredibly wise mother says...she's right though, or course.

I love her...but I hate her...more maybe, I'm really not sure. She possesses the strength to kill my soul...yet I still want her to be happy.

I feel like I'm being ripped apart.

Two sides.

I can't stand it...I'm all alone, nobody to talk to... I need somebody...I'm so greedy, selfish...spoiled.

I'm never satisfied. But I can't help to cry because of how I feel inside.

It hurts.

I keep thinking of...well, of things I shouldn't.

Death.

Mine, and my mothers.

I'd miss her if she died...but I just might be happy.

She hurt me inside...She says I don't love her, and that I hurt her also, that hurts me more.

She calls me selfish...she's right.

I'm a horrible person. I don't deserve to live...yet...No.

I should never have been born.

I've made my mother's life worse.

She's horribly unhappy...and it's partially my fault.

She didn't want to have me.

I'm a bad person.

I don't think of anybody but myself.

It's wrong of me to hate my mother.

Should I just kill myself? Who would care... My parents wouldn't have to give me money unwillingly anymore.

I wouldn't burden anyone.

I just...I need somebody to talk to... I wish I had somebody. I guess I'll go now.

It's stupid and selfish of me to pain anybody with this letter...stupid... I don't deserve any help.

I don't have any problems.

I'm just too selfish and spoiled to live happily.

I keep wanting more than I already have.

I make others unhappy.

I'm bad.

My wishes are all selfish.

Even my wish to be with my love...That too is for my own feelings.

I should think of others.

But I don't.

I don't deserve to live with others anymore.

Maybe I should just go away. I don't know why I'm sending this... I just don't have anyone to talk to.

I keep trying to redeem my ways by listening to others, and trying to help.

But that too is only to redeem myself...myself. I'm so selfish.

I am going to hell...if there is one.

I don't even know why I care.

I deserve to burn in eternal anguish...I do.

Wishing that my mother would die, that deserves to be punished in itself.

I should be hurt.

I deserve pain.

And I'm going to get it.

I complain about the small problems I have...Those don't matter.

I'm a horrible person for thinking that they do.

I'm unhappy and depressed for no reason.

I keep a smile though...is that good enough?

Do I make others happy if I hide my feelings?

Should I go on doing this?

Yes.

I can't make others hurt because of how selfish I am.

I hate myself.

I hate everything about me.

Everything.

My life was and always will be a waste.

Nobody should have to live with a disgrace such as myself.

I'm a burden upon humanity.

The world will be better without me.

I'm sorry mom, dad, Natascha, Kamesha, Ericka, Mel, Cat, Becca, Alex, Chris, Smalls, Jay, Ryogo, Holly, Michelle, James, Danny, Grandmother, grandfather, Melanie, Manuel, Desiree, Susie, Liana, BJ, Doug...Jenny, Lee, Ry, Terry, Mike, Brooke, Shane...Angel...Blake...Sam...anyone who ever cared about me...

I'm sorry if you hate me.

I'm sorry that I hate myself.

I'm sorry that I'm selfish.

I'm sorry that I'm lazy.

I'm sorry that I'm spoiled.

I'm sorry that I'm not nice.

I'm sorry that I'm not pretty.

I'm sorry that I'm not smart.

I'm sorry that I don't have any talents.

I'm sorry that I waste time.

I'm sorry that I waste space.

I'm sorry that I don't care.

I'm sorry that I'm rude.

I'm sorry that I'm disrespectful.

I'm sorry that...that...that I was ever born.

I'm so so sorry.

I really am.

I hope that I haven't cause anybody too much pain.

If I have...then I'll commit myself to Hell, without question. I'm sorry if that's not enough.

I know that I'm a horrible person...but that's the only thing I can do for you.

I'm sorry.