I don't pursue my 3:00 A.M. poetry.
I don't make it happen in me then.
I merely wake and touch my toe and pen in sea-foam
of Imagination, Love, Memory,
and let it engulf me as it will:
Body-surfing in Life's Sea...
with my Muse.
My mind desires NOT to be willing.
My haunts are not volitional, nor pleasant.
My echoes---'though faint---are not dull, but painful:
ghosts of tigers, fresh pink babies;
fragrances or fears, remembered.
Fore-forgotten future fables and fates,
with my Muse.
I do not choose insomniacal inspiration.
"I would not wither thee" is my invitaion "To Dance!!" (+)
I dislike being Grief's necessary instrument!
Ink does not choose to be ink.
Blood is blood no matter its antigens.
In a dream undreamed I awake, trapped
with my Muse.
I hate crying, especially when I can't.
I did not choose to be me; don't YOU accuse me!
I DO choose to continue (I do not HAVE to!)
I have things which ache, like YOU.
But the pain is this: I'm all alone,
as I Cry My Dry, Old, Cold Tears,
with my Muse.
{and, the obligatory Haiku:}
I'm tender, well-done
o'er Life's incandescent coals,
impaled on Fate's spit.
(+) see my entry, "Dance With Me!"
I remembered you on 10/03/02. I too lie in darkness and pain and cry cold, old bitterly dry tears...with my muse.
Love Always,
Mary