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"Razor Blades"
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Dark Poems Inside these walls here, I keep you safe from fear.
To keep out the villains of your past,
I'll keep you here.
Always, I'll hold you,
so tight, so tight, I'll hold you back.
Never have to touch it,
that cold razor blade;
Just leave it!!
Don't touch it; let the blade stay on the floor.
I'll kick it away; there's just no way
that I could let you go through with it!
Your heart is mine and you can't escape.
You'll always hear my voice;
I'll whisper your dreams and hopes.
I'll always protect you;
no more pain, I keep it inside for me.
And now it seems the reflection of the razor blade
is staring at ME.
I'll keep it;
you'll never know hurt...
store it away and keep history.
You are so lovely and I can't give you pain.
Your mind, so innocent, it will always be...
because of me.
I'll let myself fall holding you up; I couldn't dream of nothing else.
They'll all harp upon me
and try to break you,
but I'll go down and fight to the last limb.
I'll be destroyed before they ever get to you,
my skin torn to shreds and every bone broken.
I'll never let them touch you;
They'll never catch you!
I'll go down with all their pain...
The way they give it to you;
those Bastards! I should shove it back down their throats!!
You're MINE, and I'll never let them have you.
You're safe here with me...
because, oh God, I'm falling,
but you're held up.
and I'll always hold you;
I shall never let go...and you will never suffer.
They're all watching for me; I'm your guardian angel,
and now I'm their new target; they make me bleed.
But I'll never let you see...
They know I'm your savior and
I'll take them all out just for you.
You watch babe, you'll see...
I'll take them down on bended knee!!
Supporting you all the way, I'll keep those razors away...
no hurt will you ever feel again;
I'll be watching over you...
and they're making ME bleed, but I'll never let you know.
You'll never feel a thing; no more pain...
I'll keep it.
You're MINE, and those razors will never touch you.
This poem reminded me a bit of Gollum, from Lord of the Rings. It appears to either be written for a child, or a depressed close friend. No gramatical errors, everything looks spiffy aside from that, but for some reason, I wouldn't give it the blue ribbon; I think it might only be too long to be a simple testemant to your devotion for this person. Also, this poem doesn't quite draw in any elements or themes from outside the poem; simply that you would give everything to keep your friend there from the razor blades. And who are "they?"
Anyway, keep it up. I've read a few and your style is not epic, nor pretentious, but very accomodating to the reader, and nicely focused on it's subject.