Author Information
ONCE TOMMORROW COMES
Careful please.......... so it looms ahead
All odds amidst it soon comes
Mourn not the day yet
It be eclipse and soon a life back
Rather it bring forth rain
Afterward we stay calm and no tense
All here on stage come front strive
Like soldiers in grave battalion
Once tomorrow comes
Along she gas our reap
Thus quench this our weep
Or we sore in her
Once idle she saw in us
Arise! kin, strive sorely more
Till the land and wake the sweet
Strive no little this odds
Shall n't tomorrow comes?
Surely. our gift borders more
Soon she come
Just a moon tour
Surreality
Since your author's note was in standard English (Make or Take?) I will assume that you intended the choppy syntax (word order) and broken word connections. If so, this was fun to force meaning the way surrealists sometimes write poetry. Will tomorrow not come? Shall is formal, n't is at the end of contractins can't - isn't - wouldn't. Standing alone is unique and very fine actual - I've never seen n't by itself in verse. ...all here on stage come up front and strive like soldiers in a grave battalion...makes the simile clearer (comparison of lesser and greater ideas connected by as or like) but not the poet's intended meaning perhaps. If this is helpful, I'll continue - I like your work enormously - allets
very helpful if you care to
very helpful if you care to know. i will still like to learn more from you. thanks