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Dreamland

A house.
Made of woodchips,
From a park.
Little bitty pieces,
arranged
just
so.
It isn’t complete,
it’s in the process
of being built,
little shards of wood being
wedged
and fit
together.
I miss together.

It is more of a building really.
Big windows reflect the sun.
It is beautiful
and messy.

I have seen it several times.
But I can’t remember
where.

Snow.
White
and breathtaking.
Refreshing.
I don’t feel the cold,
only see it
in coats
and scarves
and gloves.
The pine trees
d
i
p
towards the earth,
tired from holding
the weight of the world
on their braches.

People.
So many people.
They look like ants, don't they?
Always busy,
always working,
but do they ever have enough time?

Marble.
I always loved marbles.
But this is the floor,
the ground,
outside.
Shining,
brilliant,
blinding marble.
Everyone thinks it’s so pretty.

You want to know a secret?
I don’t like marble.

Look, over there-
stairs.
People walking up
People walking
d
o
w
n.
All too busy
to notice the boy,
even though he stands out.

These people-
I know them.
Old friends,
acquaintances,
enemies.
Why are they here?

Be still, my heart.
He
sees
me.

We run, run quickly
Giggle giggle.
We are not quiet.
We are not sad.
We are happy.

Cement.
Cement floor
at the bottom.
We run behind the stairs,
breathless
hearts pounding
alive.

He wants to kiss me.
I want to kiss him.
But not now-
no, not now.
I have to go back,
tell
another
lie.
Then we can go.
Be alone.
Go away.
Run
away.

Back up the stairs,
into the sun
into the people
into the suffocation.
But I do not notice;
his hands are in mine,
we laugh,
we dance,
our hearts sing.

This way, love.
This way.
Come over here
through this door
through this place
through the maze.
Turn this corner,
don’t let go,
this will be a rough one.

Then He appears.
My cell guard,
My jailer.
He sees our hands,
and turns around.

Look Daddy,
look who showed up.
Giggle giggle.
I am so weak.

His face
is a storm.
Raging
hating
spewing anger.

My heart drops.
It always hurts more
when it falls from
so
very
high.

Dread fills me,
hate fills me.
My lips spill over
with blood.
I taste metal
on my tongue.
My lungs collapse,
no more air.
No more life.
My bones shatter;
glass from the windows
of that
beautiful
messy
twisted
confused
house.
I realize-
He wants to kill the boy
My boy
My love.
No.