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Could I be sleeping?

If so, I’m ready to wake up.

I’ve never felt so alone, so cold –

forsaken and abandoned.

These tears taste too real to be an illusion.

I can feel the pain shadowing my sanctuary.

Don’t I suffer enough when I’m awake?

Now nightmares follow me to my only refuge.

I can almost feel myself falling,

and no one is here to catch me.

But now I know I’m not dreaming.

Everything I see is real.

There is nothing left for me.

Should I surrender to the darkness?

I cannot find a reason to stay;

all that I live for is gone now.

So why are you still here?

Why won’t you give up,

I renounced long ago.

You cant help me;

I’m too far beyond saving.

All that soothes me now is my reining desperation.

I fear there is no sanity left in me.

I cannot have what I beseech.

I’m sick of pretending everything is fine,

when a prayer of redemption is left unanswered.

I see right through all the fake smiles and unfilled promises,

to an empty world of lies and deceit.

Why can’t I return to my reverie,

where this burden doesn’t exist?

Emancipation from the pain that holds me ransom,

sweet salvation delivering me from this nightmare.