Self-medication

Sheets wrap up and around.

Sliding up and down skin.

Comfortably cool and bound.

Calming, soft and thin,

Before it tightens, 

Slow at first but harder there on.

But you don't scream or fight them.

Because you were grateful once. 

 

Cliches sing,

Dark and comfort,

Cry and rebirth.

Yet theres truth in that verse.

From womb to hearse,

I should love me

Or I curse me. 

 

Talk and rebel,

Let's sing,

Let's cry,

Let's everything.

We were just kids

Excuses made, but not worn out.

Tell me how I rewrite this story

This hell where youth,

Not laughter go.

 

I was just a kid,

Self-medicating,

Quenching, intoxicating

Not heeding,

Running,

Sprinting,

Crying as the wind tried to shush those tears.


Adrenaline's gone.

Reality seeps in,

Medicate me, I don't have the strength.

Speak truths and lies alike,

For fear of one another.


One person is all I ask,

To speak these truths,

Unveiled.

Until then, self-medication

Is my suffocation,

Cutting off those thoughts,

Brushing close to death,

Before rushing back,

Wishing I'd stayed.


Tonight I'll brush,

Speak truths in hush,

Hoping only I hear

The soft crush,

And inhale, exhale something,

Then wait and wait

And drift to nothing.

 

 

 

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AngryLaughter's picture

Medication

When we are our own doctors, who will be our nurses?