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Mess of Me
Folder:
Discipline
I am still confused, in part.
Not of how I ended it,
but if I ended it for the
right reason.
Were my reasons, immaterial,
considered petty?
Maybe the small things I saw
were blown out of proportion.
I learned more about me,
than I learned about her.
My aspirations and goals
I would divert from.
Yet I saw her giving it all up for me,
sacrificing herself, her time,
her ways, and her beliefs,
I would not allow it.
She considered herself a burden,
which she never was.
Both of us trying to put each other first,
key word: trying.
She was good at it.
I was not, not willing to change
or sacrifice when I said I would.
I guess that makes me a liar too.
Looking back,
I didn't deserve her,
she can do much better
than the mess that I am.
Honest self analysis is a good thing.............
You know you better than anyone else. It sounds like you let her go out of your love for her that she could do better and this is a very mature and selfless thing to do. Very hard to do too but in the long run I think you will look back and know it was the right but hard thing to do. I commend you for not only the poetic construct you put these thoughts in but for having the actual thoughts themselves and concluding something quite wise about yourself. I enjoyed reading your poems thanks for sharing and I hope you share some more........ Sincerely, Melissa Lundeen.