You Are The Hurricane...

and the sun begins to set into its bed on the distant horizon

just as monotanously common as it begins every set of words i call a poem

almost as tedius as my feeble attempts to disguise the saline streams

or for that matter, keep them off the page

keep these already hurting words from bleeding

just like i used to do externally when i couldnt take anymore internally

just like i now do internally because theres nothing else to do

you didnt want me to know the world you came from

instead you send me there

with your weighted words

your very facial features and books worth of memories

remember that year, maybe it was kindergarten

remember all those books, maybe 300

remember how proud you were

never forget thats why it was done

remember all the work i did with that crazy man

who showed me more acceptance than you

remember all the extra tasks

the "challenge" projects

the goals i set but hardly reached

the things i dreamed but you ignored

sixth grade, when i said i read

twice as many books as i actually did

i bet you didnt know it was just to see you smile

how about my very first sacriligious F, on an assignment i cant quite name

it probably hurt me more than you, despite what you may believe

remember when you took my guitar

remember the night you said i couldnt play

i remember that as the night i learned how property and possession meant shit

my 700 washingtons prize taken away

i remember when you "changed your mind" and how i was too fucked up to play

do you remember

if you dont, you have it on tape

remember the lessons you taught me about honesty

the ones where you brutally shattered my hopes and dreams

the ones where you made me feel like nothing

and then my favorite lesson, the one where you denied it all

well, maybe ill try to teach you a lesson this swing through an 18 hole round

with a $60 weekly income, you cant afford a place to crash

a place to learn

a way to further your life

and surprise, surprise,

when my parents rake in six digits per painful calendar

and the government doesnt recognize my ethnic past

a scholarship is nowhere in my uno deck

and my poker deck will never get me far

its as cut up and broken as my beyond 18 year old hand

and sorry im no eric clapton

sorry me and the boys never made it as far as the stores

sorry for trying to find something that made me feel alive

other than the look in moms eyes

which would surely only last until you opened your mouth

and a friend once told me

it will be okay

just follow your dreams

i hope hes better with his daughter than you were with me

cause he doesnt have much in the way of money, but you cant buy love

yet ive never met a man with a bigger heart

and that is all that should have mattered from the start

im the son of a military brat

the son who has a war no army has ever seen going on inside his heart

every second

of every minute

of every hour

of every day

and so on

and so on

you should feel so proud

because, for reasons ill never know

through all those so ons

through all those shattered dreams and broken hearts

through all the lack of faith that youll just deny anyway

i tried to be something for you

i tried to give you something to be proud of

i tried to get past your pessimistic way of finding something i still did wrong

i may have gotten this disease from mom

but the pessimism

the war

and every ounce of this pure tragedy

i somehow inherited from you

and as the sun goes to bed

it always rises proud in the morning

but as i fall into this ocean of tears everynight

its a miracle i dont drown as the tide comes in

but you couldnt smile if i swam ashore

if i outlived each tide

because, like a great man from your time, so you cant say you cant relate,

neil young once said, "you are like a hurricane"

you are my hurricane

forever keeping me from shore

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Manju Kiriyan's picture

ok....

poetvg's picture

WORTH THE READING