She’s just a lump under the covers
The moonlight creates a soft contrast
Between the flat mattress where I lay
And the rise of the sheets to her back
I look at her and the lump returns in my throat
Roll off the bed and over to the window
Peer at the graveyard outside
What used to be a garden
Adding fog would make a perfect picture
Return to my bed, stare at the darkness
Close my eyes, remember
My day, a book I read titled,
Your World and Why It Sucks
On the back it prints my name
I took it home and burnt it
Using the ashes to make a drink called,
I Hate This Feeling
The wind blew them away as it whispered,
You’ll Never Know How I Feel
Ashes in the wind, breathed by the trees
Who exhale, I’m Closing Myself Off
They send their message to the plants
To the grass to the moss on the rocks
In my garden. They all whisper as I
Pull out the knife.
Draw it close to my throat (Your World and Why It Sucks)
Standing in my garden (I Hate This Feeling)
I close my eyes, remember (You’ll Never Know How I Feel)
And the blade turns red (I’m Closing Myself Off)
Very catcing to the eye. It's mix of imaging and feeling bringing the cluster of what makes the ending perfect. It uses nature in a dark sense and also the nature of a person which relates right to the mind which acts on it's own nature unless influenced by an outside force. Nice writing! I likes.
what can i say i like to critique