I'm still lost- Wandering on unchartered streets,
Mental drug corners- Where negative thoughts are sold for cheap.
What's my Destiny?- A question continuously asked,
Everyday there's a risk- That I may wander back to my past.
I'm still moving forward- But in the wrong direction,
Forcing myself into seclusion- But it's for my own protection.
I am my own worst enemy- Although I face the world grinningly,
But deep inside I know- That I, myself, will be the end of me.
Tearless cries and silent screams- Joyful woes and unsewed seams,
Corrupted thoughts and nightmarish dreams- Hanging by threads or so it seems.
I've lost all hope- For the thoughts of a better life,
The stress has begun to set- And it's left me with severed sight.
Double-vision as I envision- The decisions thats to be made,
19 years of fighting for freedom- Yet still to my thoughts I am a slave.
Haunting me to my grave- As I search for what I'm destined for,
It's been said that Life's a test- But death is what I'm testing for.
But when I die will I be resting more?- Or will I be turning in my grave,
Because of the issues that went unresolved- And personal demons that could not be slayed.
I've got so many negative thoughts- They've become the drug for my brain,
I admit that I am an addict- Because I am addicted to this pain.
It doesn't make much sense- But then again, I'm not a fan of change,
Since birth it's been my curse- But hurt has kept me sane.
And when the rain begins to fall- On the empty streets of my mind,
I'll still be on the corner waiting- Watching and passing the time.
Waiting for a passer by- To ask that age old question,
"Is personal struggle a curse- Or just a disguised belssing?"
But as I stand alone- Just as I have always done,
I will console in few, confide in fewer- And put my trust in none.
Because many people pretend to see- Many "friends" pretend to be,
And although my end will be Grim to see- It has be written, that it's my Destiny.