Doubts

I feeling I have a worldwind in my head..

Everything spinning so out of control..

Unable to grab ahold of just one thing..

Even though I keep getting told to go slow..

Everywhere around me things are going in circles..

Makeing me feel so unsure of myself.

Asking so many questions..

Can i make it thru this time?

Will i ever be able to gain control again..

Where will I go from here?

I sit and I wonder if this is all real..

The chaos in my life..

With those who I have to care for..

Those i have to be the one to remeber things for..

For they have a disease that keeps them from doing it thereselves..

And yet that feels like only the ebginning of the worldwind..

that casues me so many doubts of myself..

That makes me keep asking what do i do next..

Am i making the right decisens.

Am i on that right road..

Or have i just gone south from it all.

have*

the doubts just keep coming..

No matter how much i try to stop them..

They just keep playing over and over in my head and my heart..

I hope for someone to come along to help me make sense of it all.

then i get scared though because that would mean me having to tell them everything.

And then more doubts come..

what if they run..

what if they think i am crazy..

what if they dont understand..

so i sit and i think about justing running and hideing..  knowing this also is not the answer..

so instead..

I just sit and keep all my doubts inside to myself..

so not to bother anyone or put them on the spot..


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