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3:05am

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The water drips

As i sit and stare

At a microwave, where the time could care less

Of a man, am i to say

What i think, about from day to day

I know no boundries

Nor do i want any

The only time that matters

Is time spent with you, and plenty

So here i mope, as she lie in bed

With lost feeling, which is me

When i could be with her instead

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Im new, just getting the words down

I don't like punctuation btw, it creates unwanted boundries

words should do what they want, except for the occasional , lol

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©16 March 2013 - 5:48am — Suttle_Slips
18 March 2013 - 7:04pm — and_hera_met_zeus
and_hera_met_zeus's picture

quite impressive!  it

quite impressive!  it captures that dull aching sadness perfectly.

19 March 2013 - 12:41am — Suttle_Slips
Suttle_Slips's picture

Thankyou:)

Thankyou:)

16 March 2013 - 10:21am — nightlight1220
nightlight1220's picture

3:05am

it gives the feeling the person is completely disconnected from one he is living with. so close and so far at the same time.

...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "

 

16 March 2013 - 8:58pm — Suttle_Slips
Suttle_Slips's picture

All too fimiliar with most

All too fimiliar with most indeed..

Your my first comment:)

Thankyou so much nightlight, I really appreciate it:)

 

17 March 2013 - 11:32am — allets
allets's picture

Commas

and great line breaks - punctuation would get in the way, the phrasing is exceptional - just getting the words down - that's what writers do. Welcome to pp ~~A~~

 

 

19 March 2013 - 12:38am — Suttle_Slips
Suttle_Slips's picture

Well Thankyou I was never

Well Thankyou

I was never good with puctuation, so im glad my phrasing helped a little lol

Thanks for the Welcome:)