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A drunk, long before I found alcohol

By jfarrell

Used to watch my dad come home from the pub

And beat his wife and kids

Used to see my mum plied with drink

To walk out with a man and humiliate all of us,

Humiliate me, again

When we got taken into Care,

I didn’t know alcohol was involved

(found that out recently)

But, at least that first time drunk

Scared me back into being teetotal

I found alcohol at 25 and fell in love with being inebriated.

Up til then, I’d always had a ‘drink problem’

though teetotal,

Fear that one taste I’d end up like them

Fear I’d become him

Maybe I’m not far off him, not that different,

I have no wife or kids, so don’t know if I’d hurt them

Maybe I’m just as blind to how alcohol changes me

As he was blind. That’s why

I was a drunk, long before I found alcohol.