A drunk, long before I found alcohol
By jfarrell
Used to watch my dad come home from the pub
And beat his wife and kids
Used to see my mum plied with drink
To walk out with a man and humiliate all of us,
Humiliate me, again
When we got taken into Care,
I didn’t know alcohol was involved
(found that out recently)
But, at least that first time drunk
Scared me back into being teetotal
I found alcohol at 25 and fell in love with being inebriated.
Up til then, I’d always had a ‘drink problem’
though teetotal,
Fear that one taste I’d end up like them
Fear I’d become him
Maybe I’m not far off him, not that different,
I have no wife or kids, so don’t know if I’d hurt them
Maybe I’m just as blind to how alcohol changes me
As he was blind. That’s why
I was a drunk, long before I found alcohol.