Drunk Vs Sober
By jfarrell
Let’s start by saying “alcohol reinforces depression”;
I offer no argument;
I’m not a doctor,
I can understand the argument.
But,
I was teetotal until 24;
Growing up with my parents,
Staying away from alcohol seemed like a VERY good idea.
I was alone when I was teetotal;
I’ve always been alone, as a drunk;
“alcohol reinforces depression”;
Yeah, but I would still be alone.
And that’s wot causes the depression.
In nine days I will be 50;
My concept of sobriety….
Never drink alcohol again….
…. a new year… a new life…
Possibly……?
I can’t not drink, ever again;
I prefer being drunk to sober;
My shame, my feelings
Are dulled by alcohol.
Cutting down my alcohol…
I have no choice;
Get home midnight with 6 am start…
No time to get smashed..
To those suggesting I should… I might….
Sorry…
Maybe not superdrunk forever;
But being sober forever…
Even if I wanted to…
Sorry…
I just don’t see that happening….
But…
Maybe life does, today, start at 50.
And to those that read, and did leave a comment…
Yes,
I will be having a 50th birthday party;
I’m still here, I’m celebrating.
Whether loads turn up, or its just me dancing with me my beer…
I ain’t gonna know anyone…
New job, new “friends”… “ bring a bottle and a friend….
“no birthday cards or presents…
Just your goodselves, your prefeered drink and a friend…
Facing fears, taking risks….
Valuing myself….. still here, at 50….
Will the real jfarrell, please stand up.
Drunk Vs sober…
Alcohol is a crutch….
But, I’m still standing…
My crutch may be COSTLY and very ugly…
But, I’, still standing.
And having a 50th birthday party…
Thanks for voting…