The slug slimes back

The slug slimes back

By jfarrell


I did a trial shift at a peri-peri chicken store;

It didn’t work out;

After cutting my thumb

I just felt like a case of mass food poisoning waiting to happen;

And seeing how swiftly I nearly bethumbed myself

Serious physical harm to my colleagues

Was also a possibility;

I learnt

My future does not lie in cooking.


I also, once worked a shift as telephone operator,

For a cab firm; a Friday night;

Between my “h…h.hh… hello…p….p…and…..”

And my manager shouting at me to stop stuttering

After I again put the phone down with nothing to write down;

They paid me off that night, “never come back”

I don’t blame them

But the next week they closed down!

I feel my stutter put a cab firm out of business;

I reckon answering telephones is not a good career choice.


I did cook for my nursery once; 100 or so children;

That went very well :)

Halfway through my cooking chilli con carne

I was asked if I’ve soaked the kidney beans? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

McDonald’s all round.


And my first primary school trip,

With me as the leader;

Think we wrecked Madam Twoswords

(and I know it spelt wrong, too lazy to get correct spelling)


Hope this has been more lighthearted

Than my recent output


Author's Notes/Comments: 

who you gonna call? "slugbusters"

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