Know my own strength
By JFarrell
I think I know my own strength,
Which is why I haven’t given up tobacco, yet.
Twelfth day sober,
Sixth day with no weed,
And have exercised more
In the last month
Than in all of the last fifteen years.
And, still I think of myself as weak.
Severe lack of sleep,
College and work to attend,
And I push, push, push….
My body says ‘no more, give us what we need.’
I eat, it wont stay down,
I’m drinking black coffee by the gallon
Cant drink anything else….
My body just screams for alcohol.
I resist.
Stubborn idiot!
And, still I think of myself as weak.
When I am strong enough
The tobacco will go too;
All these poisons have to stop.
I hope I know my own strength,
I have to be stronger than I can imagine myself ever being,
Coward that I am, was…. not sure, right now.
And, still I think of myself as weak.