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Here, wasn’t the plan

By JFarrell

Here, wasn’t the plan;

Around the corner was the perfect place,

Scaffolding, no street-lights;

Other than the patrols in hi-vis jackets,

Around the corner was perfect.

So here  I am in the subway

At three in the morning

Rope tied to the railings,

I put the noose over my head

And step off.

And am surprised I can’t breathe

And I so desperately want to

NOW!

I clutch at my throat,

The rope,

Clawing at it

Wanting to end the pressure

Whole body thrashing

Swinging

GONE

I know I should be grateful to whoever found me

Cut me down and saved my life

But

I had the courage, I had the guts

And I did it

And it was right

Thank you for saving my life

But I really wished you’d left me there