You began to advise me in spring of seventy-seven.
Not all of our many conversations
went as I liked; but my education's
arc was advanced by the words you said.
Now I have learned that you are dead.
Those damnable, immature hesitations
of mine and my prideful attitude
did far too much to prevent and intrude
upon my expression of gratitude.
But, some certain day, I will tell you of this in Heaven.
Starward
[*/+/^]
Author's Notes/Comments:
For years, I resented my faculty advisor's somewhat whimsical amusement at my interest in the Mary Shelley's literary accomplishments and his disregard of my interest in the five canonical victims of the serial murderer called Jack the Ripper. I wonder, now, if his challenges were like my father's (being that they were of the same generation)---attempts to measure my sincerity and the depth of my interest, which I misinterpreted as merely a rejection of those interests.
In the last line, the adjective "certain" refers to the certainty of John 14:3.
In late autumn of 2001, at a private reunion luncheon, I had the privilege of presenting to him my original theory, which is posted on postpoems in the poem "Whitechapel Woman," that explicates the several anomalies in the so-called murder of Mary Kelly (the fifth of the five canonical Riper victims). I read the poem to him between the salad and the main course. After several moments of silence (during which I was, even though twenty years had passed since my collegiate days, sweating profusely like a freshman during first finals), he said, "The theory appears to be ironclad" which was the finest compliment I ever received from him.
I should also mention that, just prior to the reunion lunch, when I met him in the corridor, his first words to me---after twenty-one years---were, "Is Mary Shelley still your girl?" And my first words back to him were, "You know that she is."
I admit to a certain amount of adolescent resentment toward him, as toward my parents. I hope to apologize to him for this, and to thank him for all that he did for me, in Heaven.
