The figure forms itself around the notion of a thigh hug. It has one agenda, seeking logical ways to perform irrational desires. It whispers, vibrating the still air that hangs in the smooth cleft, Teasingly, mockingly, penetrating will, fortifying surrender. It scans with its tip the ridges and plateaus of the softly drawn landscape. Drawing itself up firm peaks and dipping into valleys, the rhythm of a soft slow chant Rises like perfume in the air, spraying salty tingly mist born of heat drawn by designs On affectations. Milky soft glycerine draws its self from the traces Cooling gently in the soft moaning breezes that slip past the hollows As the tip draws down on deposits made, the void now full
Special thanks to poetry master ;)
HugSS graSShopper
This was before grammar and punctuation check below
The figure forms itself around the notion of a thigh hug
It has one agenda seeking logical ways to perform irrational desires
It whispers vibrating the still air that hangs in the smooth cleft
Teasingly mockingly penetrating will, fortifying surrender
It scans with its tip the ridges and plateaus of the softly drawn landscape
Drawing itself up firm peaks and dipping into valleys the rhythm of a soft slow chant
Rises like perfume in the air spraying salty tingley mist born of heat drawn by designs
On affectations. Milky soft glycerine draws its self from the traces
Cooling gently in the soft moaning breezes that slip past the hollows
As the tip draws down on deposits made,
the void now full
Great writing!
Great writing!
oh my gosh you really think so?
Ok help me clean it up ;) any suggestions master?
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."
It rocks!
Other than a little punctuation, there is nothing to clean up. This is one of those instances where the first draft is the best draft. You nailed it and I can't see how you could improve it with any tinkering. I wish I could write a first draft that was a finished work like that ;-)
If you see it differently, PM me with your thoughts and we will bounce them around, but I say it's golden as is.
Alright! Whooo Whooo! Grammar
Alright! Whooo Whooo! Grammar me up I'm spending the day dancing and singing in the kitchen ill cook one for you beavis! Got a big day coming up a family birthday to get ready for, but who cares! Whooo hooo! Nice pebble ;) HugSS and more HugSS
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."
Without a doubt, this one's a
Without a doubt, this one's a pebble snatcher, grasshopper! ;-)
;)
;-)
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."