Chasing Enstasy


Chasing Enstasy

Have you ever been through a barren wind-lashed landscape,
to a place where the only pleasure is pain?

Swept through grand illusions of mountainous peaks,
romantically  set asunder with trickling valleys?

Have you throbbed painfully, soaking into an untouchable mire
of whetted frenzy in enstasy?

Felt numbness broken by searing thoughts of pain-bloated
vomittous purges bringing ecstasy?

Have you been so relieved, so rejoiced, by knowing you still stir
to feel wrapped in delusions you call real?

Have you  ever lost the last longing, lingering, filtered rays
of loving light, all alone, wondering why its so stark?

Toiled, panicked and sweated for hours,
praying when those illusions left you crying in the dark?

Have you taken to all the corners of your mind,
endlessly digging in the recesses for the passages to your lost light?

Burned your eyes in desperation, sending beams of longing soul light
through those latched rain soaked windows?

Have you schemed and plotted, travelled so far and wide,
to chase a glint of memory through the endless night?

Traced the walls of imagined heights, scraping your fingers
to the bone, looking for a crack?

Have you forgotten your God, reinvented your religion and
realigned the center of your universe in hope?

Burned your heart so brightly as a sacrifice,
hopelessly knowing it will be an invisible beacon for the lost?

Then leave me! You can never know my plight.

(Revised With Beavis in Mind)
Deeply grateful.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I just finished a workshop with BEAVIS and it was totally an invaluable experience. If you have a poem you love and just isn't quite right or you're not good at structure or grammar (like me) check out the difference with my first draft Plightedknight knight *cringe I know ;) turn your art and craft it into a masterpiece! He asks the best questions! Cheers SS.

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battlepink's picture

I'm sitting here at my desk

I'm sitting here at my desk at work trying to fight the tears that are so trying roll down my cheeks.......I'm am moved.........its like you were in my brain.

SSmoothie's picture

Oh dear BP!

So sorry to hear that! my work is lightly my feelings but exaggerated but sometimes it pours through me from an unknown source. there's always a way out of each feeling I am guilty of loving my suffering a little more than I should. but I have learned to be there for myself. It is important to value yourself especially as a survivor of your thoughts HugSS.

Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

battlepink's picture

Your work makes me laugh and

Your work makes me laugh and cry, you can't ask for anything more.
I woke up 3-4 years ago....... I AM a survivor, but I do write about past "events". I can put them on paper now and not feel the hate, pitty or numbness that I felt back then.

Thank you for your writings.

snhobo's picture


i have absolutly been through that i call it tuesday. :p

It's last life is spent tormenting your dreams-zombie cat

SSmoothie's picture

Enstasy (Gk., en-stasis,

Enstasy (Gk., en-stasis, ‘standing into’). The experiences, or abolition of experience, arising as a consequence of those meditational, etc., techniques which withdraw the practitioner from the world, and even from awareness of the self. The word was coined in contrast to ecstasy. Examples are dhyāna, jhāna.

Enstasy - A term coined in 1969 by Mircea Eliade to contrast the Eastern view of bliss as "standing inside oneself" (enstasy) with the Western view as ecstasy, "standing outside oneself." A word chosen as the English equivalent of samadhi. See: ecstasy, samadhi, raja yoga. - Source: H.A.

Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

burkej1h's picture



SSmoothie's picture

Thanks :)

Thanks :)

Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Beavis's picture

Great job!

You did a great job editing and reworking. I love what you have done with this!