Bare Naked

 

 

The beats thrum home

Each rise and fall,  

A rhythmic calm 

Breath Whispers 

Warmth nuzzles,

Lips graze 

Fingertips trace

Imersed in contentedness 

Love has coalesced  

 

 

 

 

 

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Cascade's picture

A superb taste of your

A superb taste of your sensual side, Smooth 

Januarian's picture

I just had to revisit this

I just had to revisit this poem again.  The two, bookending verbs really release a tremendous power into the words they surround.  The skill with which you constructed this poem really fascinates me.  This will not be my last visit to it.


Januarian

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Januarian's picture

This poem is so deep that I

This poem is so deep that I had to open it up in a second window in order to make my comment.  Patriciajj recently mentioned James Dickey to me, and I was re-reading him a bit, along with comments from some scholars who suggested that Dickey's most powerful poems were written in the short lines, which was his style before he extended, attenuated, and loosened his customary line.  And your poem demonstrates that same kind of power, as well as once again evidencing J. V. Cunningham's belief that a short poem, artistically compressed to hold more than the sum of its space suggests, is the most classic kind of poem one can write. 

  I also applaud your use of two very powerful verbs that bookend the poem, "thrum" and "coalesced." These give the poem a very supple and active presence.  But one must also notice the tenses of the two verbs.  Thrum is in present tense, as we watch the process unfold before our eyes and ears.  But coalesced is placed in the past tense, in a grammatical construction that implies a finished completion; as does the verb in the previous line, immersed.  Here we see an actual process going on in front of us---we start when it is already in progress, and the poem takes it to the completion of the process.  This is an epic process, and yet, like the best poems of Dickey and Cunningham, this poem compresses all that into such a small space.  But compression, itself, can be a good thing.  After all, gravitational compression is what causes atomic fusion that provides us with the light and warmth of the sun.  And coalescence, to extend the metaphor, is what turns a small accretion of particles into an irridescent star over the process and progress of time.  And your poem reflect all of this in a few lines, a small space, and a huge amount of verbal power.  This poem is also, in a way, like a verbal clock; and we see numerous verbal cogs and gears turning quietly in the formation of lines to show us the process of love in the progress of time.  I am very, very impressed with this poem; and, admittedly, it says more as a poetic experience than any prose comment can measure after the fact.  It was a privilege to read this kind of poetry; and, specifically, this poem.


Januarian

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SSmoothie's picture

I am still stunned and

I am still stunned and extremely grateful for this comment for which I am still in awe after many times reading it. I have a warming glow coalseced in the pit of my soul giving rise to more pround insights that are yet to claim their words. I pray they do find them similarly in days yet to come, but the beats pass unavailed often. 

Best blessings and deep gratitude for seeing me as who, I would like very much to be hugSs


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Januarian's picture

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.


Januarian

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Stephen's picture

Erotic poem.

This is a truly erotic poem.  It is suggestive but not pornographic.  I wish certain poets on this site would learn from this poem that pornography and eroticism are not the same.  Great write.  Stephen

Januarian's picture

I agree with you, so very

I agree with you, so very much.  This poem is magnificently erotic.  As for those certain poets you mentioned, I wish some of them would learn the precedents established by Calimachus, Catullus, Propertius, Martial, and Vergil in his Eclogues; and in the twentieth century, Cavafy; and chief among them, Solomon in his Biblical Song.  They established the canon of what is, and is not, erotic. 


Januarian

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