Lust encrusted eyes

Stars sparkle fourth pouring from your presence 

I wish to drown in your atmosphere 

Envelop me and wash me brighter,

Dancing lighter 

Wafting higher 

Set adrift on daydream's bliss from that almost kiss 

Diamond lies washed with the tide 

Cupids encrusted bow fell and the arrow twisted

Now lives thoughts of midnight bliss 

Never brought to fruition,

encrusting glittered remnants of impossible  dreams,

Littered along a blushed cheek and cherry lips that if they could;

would melt into an almost pefect kiss...

 

 

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patriciajj's picture

I agree with Starward, and I

I agree with Starward, and I don't think I could describe the ingenious mechanics and breathtaking acrobatics of language any better. Yes, it is music in all its layers and mystical power, and yes, it is a dazzling interactive experience for the reader. 

 

Then there's this:

 "I wish to drown in your atmosphere 

Envelop me and wash me brighter,

Dancing lighter 

Wafting higher 

Set adrift on daydream's bliss from that almost kiss" 

 

That's some timeless stuff, right there. 

 

Engaging, gorgeous and art of the finest order. Applauding. 

SSmoothie's picture

Thank you so much Patricjja!

Thank you so much Patricjja! I do always enjoy your work so I am chuffed that you have commented very much what I always would like to say to you but am sometimes too busy for the words, the right words to express this and I promise to one day do this i only hope the praise can reonate with my perceptions hugss 


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

patriciajj's picture

I certainly understand the

I certainly understand the issue of being too busy to comment. Thank you for your kind and appreciative words. 

Starward's picture

The emotional depth of this

The emotional depth of this poem is greater than its deceptively brief length, and not a word is out of place or wasted.  I don't know why, but I was thinking of one of Webern's short musical compositions---brief in duration, totally complete as a single entity made up of several parts that were deployed with the most artistic skill.  This poem reminds me very much of that.  Even the title, is musical;

four notes---two of the same tone, surrounding a third between them, in a triplet, and then the fourth note which lingers for a moment before the poem proceeds.  Over a century ago, the poet Ezra Pound wrote that poetry should aspire to the form of a musical phrase rather than the tick-tock of imabic regularity, and this title, and then the poem itself, seems to work that out very well.  This is a poem that, like some of the greatest of the ancient classics, demands that the reader bring something to the poem---in order to participate in its process.  To read this poem as it deserves to be read, the reader cannot just stand there, hands jammed into pockets, passively staring.  For this poem, the act of reading is the action of reading . . .  if that makes sense.


Starward

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SSmoothie's picture

All I can say is WOW! Now I

All I can say is WOW! Now I see it! Thankyou so much for this amazing perspective! I'm definitely dancing lighter and wafting higher! Best blessingss SS! 


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Starward's picture

You're welcome, but THANK YOU

You're welcome, but THANK YOU for posting this magnificent poem.  I don't know why Pound's phrase about poetry as musical composition has stuck with me for so long (since the winter of 1977-78), but I have read very few poems that actually fit that particular standard . . .  but yours is one of them.  From the triplet in the title, the poem moves toward a middle crescendo, and then, in the last two lines, it trails off into a slow, but coy, diminuendo.  Again, I think of some of Webern's pieces, or the sound of the celesta in the third movement of Shostakovich's Fifth Symphony . . . 


Starward

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SSmoothie's picture

A beautiful symphony indeed!

A beautiful symphony indeed! I never knew my natural cadence was very akin to Pounds. I like the beginning moddle and end to do this in poetry but often get distracted either by concept, theme or poetic irony. Im so glad this one went down that road. Im inclined to try and be more concious of it, like the sound of a tap as it opens you hear the initial turn, the water travelling tge pipes then the gush as it arrives and hits the sink and as we turn the tap the trikle and the final slip down the drain pipe where it finally fades...


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Starward's picture

Your metaphor of the water

Your metaphor of the water flow is beautifully poetic, and, if I may be so bold to suggest, deserves a poem of its own.  It is far too good, and to expressive, to be restricted to a comment box.


Starward

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SSmoothie's picture

lol okay. I will dedicate it

lol okay. I will dedicate it accordingly  ;) 


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Starward's picture

Thank you so very much.  I

Thank you so very much.  I just saw this reply (I am always a day late and a dollar short, lol.) 


Starward

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